Steak The way You like it

*I must thank the artist who inspired this*



Everything you do


I know sometimes I don't appreciate everything that u do
too prideful to admit I need your help
ended fuccin up
makin it worse
then u
create beauty where there was
once chaos and disorder
u restore the peace
u make it complete

How could I forget the magic and power of those hands
how could I forget to show you love as my man
the power of those hands
you could crush me with those hands
you could hush me with those hands
but you chose to elevate me
came into my life and washed away the shame
fixed everythang
how is it I let my responsibility to show you love escape me

I know sometimes i don't appreciate everything you do
but tonight there is some steak
some love and
some head
waiting for you

Uncomfortable Arousal

The fact that
you barely know me
and tryna run up in me raw
with yo 8 inch homie
I wonder

Do you got that shit??
or you on that shit??
cuz you dont know me slick
and yes! I wanna let you hit
but
what if you got that "gift"??
what if i got that "gift"

That gift that keeps on giving gift
you know that shit that itch
break out in warts and sores and shit
and or burn when u piss
i mean don't get it twisted we can still
totally do this
just how bout a layer of protection
cuz I don't care how sexy
no nuts
no guts
is worth an infection
lets see
if both u and me
are honest in our inventory
brutally truthful in our reflections
both of us have been risky
frisky
a lil too tipsy
young n
dumb n
preoccupied with cummin
this is no judgment
just want you to think of somethin


do you have a future??
I thought so cause we discussed it

and while it feels like we are the only two people in the entire universe at this moment who matter....dont mean we should trust it
I desire sooooo deeply to be here with you tonight
and please believe I can make it just what your fantasy was like
I think we should do it right



we've sat back palavered and philosophized
held hands shared with each other
some of the thoughts behind our eyes
stuff like jobs,the kids,politics and hip hop classics
and how you was thinking bout going back to school taking classes
but the one thing we aint ask is
what is your HIV status
I can tell you Im negative
cuz I have been tested
Alright !!!!! You are too??
sweet that's whats up---BET THEN
I'm diggin you even more
since our affection remains after such a conversation
exchanging crucial information
elevating anticipation
I got some condoms on the dresser
over there by my purse
turn of the lights lets see who gets to them first

Vampiric seduction

She licks her greedy lips
Streets are silent
Other than her sleek boots
Click
Click
Click
Clicks
On the dark damp pavement
And dam she thick
Moves, slinky, inky, slinky, slick
Again she licks those greedy lips
Musically moves those magical hips
Most men find themselves ill equipped
To cope with the vampiric sensuality she presents
Eyes dewy brown
Voluptuous thighs golden brown
Backside so full so right so round
Down
Down
Down you go
She aint no hoe
She shole move like it tho
The girl just know
oooooooooooooooooohhh she so
So slinky,
So inky
So slinky
So….thick
If that aint enough to get you bent
Get you spent
In her wake she leaves a scent
Levitates
Lingers
You salivate and feel the pressure of her touch
From her soft seductive fingers
On your neck
Alarmed yet intrigued you aint moved yet
She licks her greedy fully lips
U go to scream
But have no voice
Have no choice
You just be still
Captivated cuz her lips so moist
As she opens her mouth
U can only pray she plans to
Inhale you
Hold in you in like a last breath
And never expel you
BUT BOY IM TRYNA TELL YOU
(((((((((((((BITE))))))))))))))))))
You succumb
As she sucks you dumb
Depriving you of your life’s blood
Apathetic and euphoric
U like heroin numb
Thirstily drinking your blood while making love
Simultaneously
Luckily for you it’s going down quite painlessly
With her greedy lips
And
Greedy hip
Driving you to
Ex-ta-sy!!!!
EX-TA-SY
Slinky inky slinky thick
Devoured and overpowered
You can’t say shit
She leaves you limp
And licks her greedy lips
Streets are silent other than her sleek boots
Click
Click
Click………………..

Who am I?



Who am I?
I AM the result of two who
Were young starry eyed
Holding hands
Making plans
I was conceived in the 80’s
About the same time my country conceived AIDS
And gave
Birth to crack babies
I AM America’s illegitimate child
But somehow
I see those Stars and Stripes
Still I feel proud and manage to smile

Who am I?
I AM ancient
My complexion verifies my Ethiopian ties
In my brain and bones there lies
The very same elements that created The Sun
Fierce enough to burn delicate eyes
Every time I fall is an occasion to rise
Yes I am one with the most prominent star-The Sun

Who am I?
I AM consciousness
A beating heart and breath
I am flesh
I am energy
Within me is Indigo light
Cannot be detected visually
Certain aspects of my being remain cloaked
in invisibility
I am striving towards seeing
My true purpose
True meaning
I am the treasure eluding the seeker

Who am I?
I AM a simple complex
Set
Of inconsistently consistent
Moral and mortal contradictions
Prone to addictions and mental afflictions
With the correct conditions
I release righteous vital essential emissions

Who am I?
I AM a walking revolution
Mistook myself for the problem
Assured knowing now I am apart of the solution
Paying my karmic restitution
I am an ongoing contribution

How am I defined
??
Who am I?
Who am I?

CNN debated
Stereotypically underrated
Took years to be liberated
No longer mentally incarcerated
If I have a dream I chase it
Any fear I face it

Who Am I?
Until the coroner
Calls the time on the clock
I
Am
Still
Being created

Wondering

I wonder when you read this will u lack the vanity to see

its about

you

But at the same have the confidence to know it could be true

I wonder when you in sunlight

do your eyes look like

lite brown --like

soft so i could drift off

and get lost

and drift in a sea of torrential

ecstasy

but never get lost

cause your strength could tether me

I wonder if having kings and queens on both sides of your bloodline

makes you more divine

but more difficult to define

Did I come too late too early

Is it not the right time

??????

Cause I been wondering

If you and me touching

could really sooth me

like I think it will

(kinda like if your kiss was a sleeping pill) lol

I been wondering

Why the more I find out

The more Im wondering

Keeps my heart thundering

But with my head in my hands I keep

wondering

I'm waiting for the stars to come out
and then maybe I can see
If I'm overlooking something
That is truly meant for me
its in the dark I can see the light...........
I'm about ready to surrender
tired of the fight
cause I know the love in my heart
wants to permeate the soul of anotha
but
I gotta keep control cause a brotha
maybe on some other S.H.I.T.
and I know from experience that aint were I wanna be
I wanna be where I can look deep down
In eyes dark brown
I wanna feel him deep even when he is not around
I wanna know
I wanna
feel, experience, and rejoice
I wanna be soothed at the sound of his voice
drink hot tea
kick around philosophy
reach self-actualization and be
who we are supposed to be
all that we can be
me to him
and him to me
and
nightly
become WE
Can I have that love I used to read about
Can I have him be here with me and there not be any doubt
Imma just sit here and wait for the stars to come out.....

Rap Whores

Dedicated to Saartjie Baartman one of the early exploited black women- Saartjie, we will do better!!!





Its no mystery why

Female rappers not taken seriously

i catch a peek

of your booty cheek

sis ---you open your mouth

you make no sense when you speak

I know I'm bout to go over yo head like cornrows and shades

Cause all you rap about is

sex cars and head game

taking niggas money

and brand names

You become a product not a person, inside could you be hurtin??

cause most girls mc's go down as worthless

who will ever sit back and contemplate your verses

really, whats your real purpose

gettin paid gettin play'd

getting high gettin laid

no conscious in your rhymes

in these difficult times??

when the young girls in the world could use a sense of direction

and all we hear from you

is how to give men an erection

gettin cash for a sex session

2 min videos of you undressin

Using your body as a sperm receptacle

of tru intimacy you make a spectacle

and that's not acceptable

society perception of blk women has been undeniably altered

can one of us stand up or will we continue to falter

can u talk about more than that thing between your thighs

and use that gray thing behind your eyes

cause we can be sexy and still be wise

its more than one way to make a nation rise

sorry for callin you blk queens whores

but can you put on real clothes??

stand on two feet??

get off all fours??

enter the boardroom

close the bedroom doors??

cause the young girls behind us is confused enough

been used enough

and abused too much

we the first generation to do worse

than the queens before us

use for voice for more than glamorizing your promiscuous past

or for promoting your scandalous azz

so when you get on the mic

make the choice

not to just ride the beat

but to use your voice

Peace and Blessings y'all

at Night

At Night
darkness yawns,covers the sky
and I
Rather than making love in my bed
I text
and email,
do homework
read books
watch Law & Order
Listen to the slow jams singing R&B hooks
reminiscing on a time when I believed
that the ideal love was real
like
Alexander O'Neil
*If you were here tonight*
or en vogue
*many say I'm to young.........but Im giving him something he can feel*
for sure by this time in my life at night
you would be here
I wouldn't have thoughts
bouncing through my brain hemispheres
like cirque de soleil
you be here to say and stay
and do
what could take that away
but anyway
*sigh*
at night
everything going on instead of you
inside me to quiet my anxieties
you are the cure
at night
yes, i do have a bullet
and various other adult accouterments
you know adult toys?
supplies
like If I was just looking to rock the spot between my thighs
I could gone head and busy
orgasm
splash
spurt gush
sapsm or nut
it could be done
but...
what about being cheek to cheek
at night
playfully fighting over cover
at night
soothing each other
put the laptops to the side
rebooting each other lol
at night
laying face to face
and you could delicately
take
the mussed hair out of my face
and erase
each trace
rid me of the entropy and decay heaped upon me by the days events
and I to you
what a way to have the night spent
your turn to pick the incense
we might as well since were
awake at night
to restore
rebuild
relieve and
reveal
growing closer you and I as the darkness succumbs to the morning light
better able to face the day
cuz love,
at night

Emotionless_for those who will return from Iraq

Hollow tears hit your blue jeans
with the force of bullets flying out of a storm
meterological tools dont measure
No more
do smiles
frowns
cries wails
even register
those neuropathways are now extinct
all i see of your pain is
those dark spots on your jeans
where the hollow tears plummeted
yet even they looked hopeless
emotional neuropathways are closed
even in your soul-
when-
I look in your eyes
your soul has detached itself from you retinas
cause even it cant stand to see
so it just rolls around your mind and distorts your reality
There is no escaape is it ??
even when you dream
the visions still visit
poor you
poor you
pour you
Another drink
so u don't feel so you don't think
man so u don't blink
afraid of the dark
instead of rhythmic beating
I hear a crust forming around your heart
transforming
no
u are mutating
into a gruesome emotionless machine
the observable evidence evidence
of anything vaguely resembling humanity are those stains
on your jeans

Sankofa-for those in IRAQ

The Sankofa is an African Mythological bird who looks back and moves forward

My Feet face Forward
Yet i look Over My Shoulder
Like The Sankofa
I am
mesmerized
surprised
tormented
terrified
By the Gems i have dropped
was i right
should I have
left you
should i have bought you here
plagued ny some wrongs
accepted others
was I right
I forgot
I was right
correct
always perfect
you see those glistening gems
(i think Not)
messed you up didn't I
didn't see at the time
blinded by a purpose
Just the means on my minding me
for knowing me
your either better or worse
tried to be your savior
your redeemer
I see here
I was a curse
I effed you up
Some gems are stained with blood
Yours
angelically evilly
dancing with mine
Forgive me
i had a mission
couldn't be stopped
Looking over my shoulder
Much Like The Sankofa
At the bloody gems I dropped





for lov

Esoterica Scrollz: Swallowing Blood

Esoterica Scrollz: Swallowing Blood

Awaiting u

WHere you at??
(awaiting U)

Cuz
I might not make it to Mecca
so I was thinking instead uhh
I could just circle around u
absorb the light the surrounds you

just in the hopes if you come
I can cope
I could grow
be safe
rest and know
I am loved
cuz
I might not make to Nirvana
so I was thinking
I wanna attain you
not restrain you or contain you
just let you be you
in a space
give you hope
you could cope
be safe
rest and grow
and know
you are loved
I might not make it to the mountain top
so I was thinking I could
enjoy the view
that I would see when I look at you
bask in the glory
and then years later
tell the grandkids the story
so I await your arrival
maybe you have just not read but STUDIED the Bible
the Koran,the Apochrypha and other enlightening texts
its you
The spiritually eclectic
well respected
enjoys reading the classics
and epics
our love must be getting close I can almost detect it
or is this a delusion
MY PANIC!!! MY CONFUSION.
the reality is that I might be losing
OHHHHH!
I dont have a fear of being alone
but if I live here on this sphere
and within this atmosphere
you exist
and we
never talk
never touch
never kiss
that I will miss
and have to ask what the point of this life
always a baby mama and never a wife
lol
It really could be true
but I hear GOD telling me to await U
there are times I contemplate you
whats your sun sign
your unique design
and you gotta stand out
I know your one of a kind
yep just contemplate u
and await the day I celebrate you
focus and concentrate you
be strong but I will never break you
I got my own experience
------my own gifts
-----my own gems
-----my own jewels
plan to share with you
never tear from you
fantasize till you materialize
artistic and sensitive
up and down mood
nice smile but
still you brood
there is an air of melancholy
cuz
u awaiting me too.......

This is written in stream of consciousness.....Reader beware Im sooo Tangential


So the ongoing discussion of the differences between men and women has been plaguing me lately
It seems as is
people believe we can resolve those differences and I say we cant
Its a useles conversation
It wont go anywhere.
I am not suggesting we shouldnt discuss our differences but
we have been proceeding the wrong way
Wheneve a man asks me
"valencia why do women always blah blah blah?"
No matter what I say It wont make sense to him
And I ask a man "hey man How come yall always blah blah blah?"
I am just as perpelexed as I was before
We need to understand there are just some differences that arent going away
I think the differences start with perhaps the way we see the world
I do beleive we have some structural differences
some chemical differences
but what about where we pee from?
So I had to go back and remember the early days with my vagina
I dont know if this happens to little boys
but I remember as a little girl wondering exactly where the dam pee was coming from
it seemed to be a hell of a lot going on down there
i dont remember how old I was
but
I remember being old enpugh to be embarrassed to ask.....so i started to feel around down therenot in a masterbatory way just kinda fiddling around in an attempt
to find out where the pee was coming from
I found a lot of cool things while I felt around and today I know just how cool vaginas really are
I mean 30,000 nerver ending in the the clitoris
30,000 or more thats cool as hell,the same amount of nerve ending in a mans entire penis and we have it all clustered in that small space,so intense,I kinda wonder why so many men forget about the clit I mean if I was a man Id spend all my time right there blowing my mind lol
but I digress
so I never found the uretha from feeling around,
so I grabbed my mothers make up mirro and posted up on the side of the bathtub and had a look.....
wtf??
All of the additional anatomy we have going on down there ladies should serious be taught
in a class
There are grown women walking around who havent looked down there and think they urinate out of the vaginal entrance
sad
so anyway I say all this to say exploring my vagina or my vageye na has shaped how I see the world and I beleive many women would agree
we learn about the world and experience through what we feel and when thats not enough we look inside and investigate
men on the other hand
can see where their pee comes from
so maybe thats way the dont always look deep into things the way we do and they learn and experience the world through what is tangfible and what they really can see...Im halway being humourous and half serious
I think we just need to respect each other and accept our differences.
The ideal man for me dosent complain that Im sensitive or fickle he would adore and appreciate it as part of my feminity
and for me I have learned to not expect men to be as intuiutive as I am, I wont tell him "you should know"
cause he may not know
or just beleive him when I ask him what hes thinking and he says nothing.
hes probably telling the truth
So Im not gonna change Ill keep seeing the world through my Vageyena




Stay tuned for part II I will be actually interviewing a vagina..she answers all your questions and emails folks

Swallowing Blood

Have you ever deeply cared for someone, maybe in love with someone...and that someone was supposed to be your friend?? Dam..... leave some thoughts for me.....




Was kinda hopin
you and I would get stranded
You and I then would be coerced to be candid
Everytime that I planned it
I cant overstand it
Rehearsed and and thought I knew what to say
Interrupted.Distracted.
Conflicted

!!!!Something!!!!!
allways in the way
Can see it has affected you too
the tension
What you neglected to do
the lyrics we should have sung
the words never said
now she shares your vows
your heart
your bed
yet
I still rent space in your head
we both repress it
connected in the spirit
we both repress it
just when you thought it was enough
we get a dose of lust
heat between us
we dare not discuss
dont explore the shit
just ignore the shit

4680 days sounds about right
and in all this time we still aint get it right

You good though
how you evade it
u got the urge too
and you disobey it
all this chemistry
a mystery
how we made it
sublimate our love
keep it on the level with dapz and hugs
you love me like a sis
look at me like a cuz
sublimate our love
BITE YOUR TOUNGE AND SWALLOW THE BLOOD
BITE YOUR TOUNGE AND SWALLOW THE BLOOD
hug me tight and pretend my scent has no affect
and try not to let your lips graze my soft dewy neck
cant disrespect the wedded bliss
no such thing as an innocent kiss
4680 days
and its still scintillating
a passion that spans the decades
painfully
is not dissapating
i guess a man can love two women
this here proves
but things like yall sharing keys
and exchanging rings
means I lose
I am silver but she
is
GOLD
so this my love you will never be told
maybe when we get old
but before we turn cold
you know like b4 this life ends
we speak it
but for know we swallow blood
so we can remain friends.........................

Rap Whores

Its no mystery why

Female rappers not taken seriously

i catch a peek

of your booty cheek

sis ---you open your mouth

you make no sense when you speak

I know Im bout to go over yo head like cornrows and shades

Cause all you rap about is

sex cars and head game

takin niggas money

and brand names

You become a product not a person, inside could you be hurtin??

cause most girls mc's go down as worthless

who will ever sit back and contemplate your verses

really, whats your real purpose

gettin paid gettin play'd

getting high gettin laid

no conscious in your rhymes

in these difficult times??

when the young girls in the world could use a sense of direction

and all we hear from you

is how to give men an erection

gettin cash for a sex session

2 min videos of you undressin

Using your body as a sperm receptacle

of tru intimacy you make a spectacle

and thats not acceptable

sociteys perception of blk women has been undeniably altered

can one of us stand up or will we continue to falter

can u talk about more than that thing between your thighs

and use that gray thing behind your eyes

cause we can be sexi and still be wise

its more than one way to make a nation rise

sorry for callin you blk queens whores

but can you put on real clothes??

stand on two feet??

get off all fours??

enter the boardromm

close the bedroom doors??

cause the young girls behind us is confused enough

been used enough

and abused too much

we the first generation to do worse

than the queens before us

use for voice for more than glamourizing your promiscuious past

or for promoting your scandalious azz

so when you get on the mic

make the choice

not to just ride the beat

but to use your voice

Peace and Blessings y'all

Stockholm Syndrome

You kinda like that sick I cant sweat out...
That scream in the back of my throat hat I cant get out...
i wonder how you infiltrated me
took me prisoner
now i dwell
under your spell
I didnt see it
coming
like General Sherman
charging through burning ATLanta
All that remains of the person I used to be are charred pieces
ruins and chatic tangled unrecognizable pieces of the person I used to be
I wasnt supposed love you so
WTF??
Developing love for the one who took my heart prisoner my soul and spirit captive??
Dare I say my body is your temple??
As I try to get you out of my consciousness
try to expell you from my essence
I only want you more
Conflicted and weak yet assured and satisfied
Images of your face are all I see when I close my eyes
Engraved upon my psyche in the deepest recesses of my being you reside
apparently carefree oblivious to the fact
I didnt want you there
Only knowing now I cannot seem to consume enough of you

Loyal to my captor ...I await your return
I live for it

Whats Beef??

I was listening to this Freestyle this morning as I have many times before,however today I felt compelled to follow up with a contribution. Out of respect I have included Mos Def lyrics' here
followed by my own interpretation of Whats Beef.....(May 2008)



Beef is not what Jay said to Nas
Beef is when workin' folks can't find jobs
So they tryna find niggas to rob
Tryna find bigger guns so they can finish the job
Beef is when the crack babies can't find moms
Cause they end up inna PINE box or locked behind bars
Beef ain't the Summer Jam for Hot 97
Beef is the cocaine and AIDS epidemic
Beef don't come with a radio edit
Beef is when the judge is callin' you "defendant"
Beef, it comes with a long jail sentence
Handed down to you in a few short minutes
Beef is when your girl come through for a visit
To tell you that she pregnant by some other nigga"
Beef is high blood pressure and bad credit
Need a loan for your home and you're too broke to get it
And all your little kids is doin is gettin' bigger
You tryin not to raise 'em around these wild niggas
Beef is when a gold digger got ya seed and a
A manicured hand out like "pay me nigga"
Or I'm tellin' your wife
Or startin' up some foul rumor that'll ruin your life
Beef is when a gangster ain't doin it right
Another gangster done decided what to do with his life
Beef is not what these famous niggas do on the mic
Beef is what George Bush would do in a fight
Yeah, beef is not what Ja said to 50
Beef is more than Irv not bein here with me
When a soldier ends his life with his own gun
Beef is tryin' to figure out what to tell his son
Beef is oil prices and geopolitics
Beef is Iraq, the West Bank, and Gaza Strip
Some beef is big and some beef is small
But what y'all call beef is not beef at all
Beef is real life happenin' everyday
And it's realer than them songs that you get at Kay Slay
This has been a Black Star PSA
From Mos Def, Pretty Flocko, black Dante
And the Black Star embassy, B to the K



Beef Is not what Jay said to Nas
Beef is when yo old man can;t find a job
So he tryna find niggas to rob
ending up gettin shot or locked behind bars
Beef is when schools cant fill a graduating class
Beef is when you find out your nigga take it in the ass
Beef is ghetto pastors pimpin the poor
Beef is what happens when the DEA kick in yo back door
Beef is when your junkie pops cant stay clean
beef is three kids by the age of 19
beef is not getting your child support,waiting in a long ass line at friend of the court
Beef is the historical corruption found in politics
Then the city got beef cause the Mayor cant manage his dyck
Beef is what took out Malcolm,Mlk ,Biggie and Pac
and all the other voices
history forgot
Beef aint what these dumb hoes do in the street
beef is when your too hungry to even fall asleep
Beef is a positive HIV test
Beef is when you find a lump growing in your breast
Beef is NOT
what these famous niggas do on the mic
Beef is what Al Qaidea would do in a fight
Beef is these old niggas phuckin with little girls way to soon
Now its beef cause she gotta baby growing in her womb
Beef is what makes moms visit sons in cemetaries or in prisons
what you really have to do when beef is on
have u feelin
like your soul is
missin
Some beef is big and some beef is small
but what yall call beef
is not beef at all
Beef is really life happenin everyday
ANd you can smoke all you want it aint just gone go away---VersaStyles






leave your own Whats Beef

ShawShank

Everytime he look up
The broad is all shook up
claimin
he done hooked up
and he like
what da fucc
He stands accused
at times he denies
at others he keeps his silence
she damn near on the verge of violence
whatever methods he applies
its no matter
he"s accused
questions always in his head whether he brushin his teeth in the morning
or simply mediating before bed
where you going?
where you been?
when the hell you coming back?
Its not her questions
but her tone implies he dont know how to act
like he might have a judgment lapse
when in fact
she lacks
the insight that
it is she who will contribute to a moral collapse
he feels confused
but he knows hes paid his dues
he feels he aint like these other dudes
but she keep an attitude
he stands accused
he stayed commited and benevolent
but persistent paranoiaand hostility exists in the absence
of evidence
so he thinks
maybe she dont know me like I thought she did
or
maybe she just stressed out with the house and the kids

maybe we should make love...
he attempts
he gets dissed
the next day she rejects a kiss
day after he calls
she says
call yo"
'bitch
thats it!!!
he sits
empathizing with Andy Dufrain
tryna prove his innocence
what else can be explained
now quietly he plans his escape
was a honest man till he got to Shawshank
If she think she lonely now
shit, just wait till tonight
sadly, the next time she accuse that brother
she gone be right.....